Grumpy Old Woman

Well you must have heard of footballers wives, will this is similiar but with headscarves and cheap trinkets,
They knock on your front door in the middle of the afternoon and ask ` do you want to buy a charm from a gypsy` my retort is usually ` why do you know one,` which doesnt go down well, after much huffing and puffing from them about how they were descended from gypsy rosa lee thee times removed, i inform them that my ex mother in law is in fact married to the son of an actual romany gypsy, and that a real gypsy didnt travel round with tarmaccers and if they dont piss off back to their luxury caravan i would ring him and ask for a curse to be placed on their 4x4`s parked under the motorway bridge alng with their hubbies trucks and vans,
soon shifts them,

Just had my eyebrows waxed the other day and the girl who did it was about 4 foot high, never in my life have i ever allowed anyone to inflict that much pain on me without nutting them, and i lie there and whimper, well actually i shout fuck ever time she peels the cloth off, the pain the pain, sob she knows me so its ok, she knows im an absolute jessie, and she doesnt mind me swearing, which is just as well as i have tourettes which only appears whilst im being waxed,

i think i might do a beauty course just on waxing, must be fun legally infliciting pain on people,

Rimonabant released now, and get behind me in the queue, although i suppose it will be no different to the raft of other shite that doesnt work, and before some smart arse comes on here giving it `if you ate the right food and excersised blah blah` well we know that you stupid sod, but we are past that point and im sorry but unless you have actually been huge and lost a shitload of weight then im not interested cos you cannot possibly have any idea of the myriad of reasons people put weight on, cos just eating too much is not the only problem,

see if it was just a case of we ate too many pies then that would be a peice of piss to solve, but you only have to look around to see the numerous eating or non eating conditions there are to see we as a a society have a fucked up attitude to food and while we allow junk food to be cheaper than healthy we dont stand a chance,

if food was taxed on fat content and healthy food cheaper and given subsidies it would help a section of the community who can only afford to buy certain foods,

then we need to provide real help to people with eating disorders, not dismiss them with anti depressants, ok imnot sure what the help is they need, cos i think its different for each and every one, but we need to give them help to overcome it,

and it needs to become socialy unacceptable to make comments at people about their weight and that includes slim people, people who makle derogatory comments to fat or thin people need a good slap, dont you realise the harm your causing, probably not cos they are usually too concerned with how they look,

bitch over im off to flint to see me mate,

my mate has tickets to russell brands show in july, i hate her, i dont know what is it about him but i find him strangely attractive, and i dont usually go for the smack head lookalikes, but there is just a `thing` cant put me finger on it, and i would probably have to wash it afterwards if i did, lets face it he is a total rock and roll slut,

its as well i dont have tickets i suppose, i would probably be far too bitchy and end up with my own channel 4 show

he made cliff richard swear on telly, he said fuck my mother god rest her soul would have been devastated, if she wasnt dead the shock would have killed her, cliff shouldnt be swearing, its not right!!!!! im devastated,

my mum was the worlds biggest cliff fan, and i still know every word to every song, i grew up singing them in me pram,

i hope gordon ramseys pork balls fester and drop off,

They do my bloodey head in, i gets an irate call from my sons headmaster today, asking me to collect my lad as he has been fighting, now he has been told off for fighting in the past, but i have never had to go in cos of it, and it was all normal boy stuff, he is 11 after all,
the head says to me on the phone ` i am at the end of my tether with him` so i said when you say that does it mean there have been other incidents i dont know about ? no he says its just all the boys seem very rumbunctious right now, ok i said i will come in,

gets to school and the headmaster tells me that although my lad was fighting he never started it so he is only getting a days exclusion and it wont go on his record, the other lad who started it is getting a few days as he hit him first,
thing is when i get mylad home i cant punish him cos as he quite rightly says mum if i had walked away when he hit me and told a teacher i would have everyone having a go at me, i cant just stand there and let someone hit me, and he is right, for a while in primary he was bullied and he one day stood his ground and has never looked back, and letting yourself be hit is going to cause problems,
so although we have had words with him about scrapping in the classroom, there isnt going to be a grounding or punishment cos i cant bring myself to,

i cant wait for him to leave this school in a few weeks time, some of the teachers have been lovley but some are right little hitlers who are on a power trip, and the head i have mixed feelings about as mostly he is ok, but sometimes he is so bloodey arrogant,

and quite frankly i dont give a stuff if you dont like it, i had to reach the grand old ago of 43 to realise i didnt give a stuff, and now i have im relishng it,

i always thought i shouldnt moan but lately i realise now im that bit older i can and quite honestly its expected,
so thats what i shall be doing here, moaning a lot about about things, people and situations that piss me off on a daily basis, as rather than bend everyones ears im going to write it down and hope its cathartic (well we all purge in some way lol this will be mine,)
please feel free to add your own gripes and annoyances and we can all purge together,